Nurses....God love 'em!

The wife is a nurse. According to her most of these are very true...

• Did you hear about the nurse who died and went straight to hell? It took her two weeks to realize she wasn't at work!
  
• You know you're a nurse if... you would like to meet the inventor of the call light some night in a dark alley.
  
• Your sense of humor gets more warped each year. Almost everything can seem humorous...eventually.
  
• You know the smell of different diarrhea to identify it.
  
• You can tell the pharmacist more about the medication they are dispensing than they know.
  
• You check the caller ID on your day off to see if anyone from the hospital is trying to call and ask you to work.
  
• You've been telling stories in a restaurant and made someone at another table throw up.
  
• You notice that you are using more 4 letter words than you did before you started nursing.
  
• Every time someone asks y ou for a pen you can find at least 4 of them on you.
  
• You live by the motto "to be right is only half the battle, to convince the doctor is more difficult."
  
• You've told a confused patient that your name was that of your coworker and to holler if they need help.
  
• Your bladder can expand to the size of a Winnebago's water tank.
  
• You find yourself checking out other customer's veins in grocery waiting lines.
  
• You avoid unhealthy looking shoppers in the mall for fear that they will drop near you and you'll have to do CPR on your day off.
  
• Your finger has gone places you never thought possible.
  
• You have seen more penises than any prostitute.