You might be a Redneck Taliban if

From a list I'm on

You might be a Redneck Taliban if...

You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer.

You own a $300 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.

You have more wives than teeth.

You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.

You can't think of anyone you HAVEN'T declared Jihad against.

You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry ammunition in your robe.

You've felt the urge to rub one out after seeing a woman's exposed ankle.

You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.

You've ever uttered the phrase, 'I love what you've done with your cave.'

You wipe your a** with your bare left hand, but consider bacon unclean.

USRSF

The Pentagon announced TODAY the formation of a new 500-man elite fighting unit called the United States Redneck Special Forces (USRSF)



These boys will be dropped off in Iraq and have been given only the following facts about terrorists :

1. The season opened today.
   
2. There is no limit.
   
3. They taste just like chicken.
   
4. They don't like beer, pickups, country music, NASCAR, or Jesus.
   
5. They are directly responsible for the death of Dale Earnhardt
   

The Pentagon expects the problem in Iraq to be over by Friday.